He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
