he puts the penis in happiness.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
