Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
