Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
