I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
