If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
