Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
