I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
