It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i out mim tonsoeep
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