what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
