He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
