I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
