i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
