Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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