I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
