get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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