If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
