I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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