This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize