let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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