butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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