I heard we made out
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
