Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
