I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
