Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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