Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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