Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
