i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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