People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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