how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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