I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
