I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He felt like a one man threesome
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
