Ambien. No doubt about it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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