We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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