thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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