she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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