remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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