just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got inside last night via doggy door
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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