I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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