he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
