I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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