Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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