Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
