ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
