He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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