Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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