dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
