he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize