Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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