i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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