I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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