She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This baby is an asshole
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
