no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
