I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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