I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
