u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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