Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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