it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
