Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
