Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
