My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
