just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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