I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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