i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Shame is for Republicans.
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