The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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