Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
